Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I ALMOST DIED

SO my friend Loni took me out horseback riding today. She's been riding a long time, has a degree in equine medicine etc. She knows her stuff and I trust her to keep me, as an inexperienced rider, safe while I'm with her horses. She had this tiny little horse for me, Jazz, not her horse, but one she knows well enough. She's had other people ride him and he's a little spunky, but settles down after a bit, so she says.
Jazz was pawing and chomping at the bit long before I got on him.
When I did finally manage to get on him, after pulling the saddle down and having to put it back on and his girlfriend in the paddock whining at us and the other gelding kicking at the gate - he took off with me. He starts riding the fence back and forth through a tiny path, more like an obstacle course around fence posts and wood piles and other hazards, kicking, dancing, rearing. I haven't been on a horse in years, and never on one performing that kind of nonsense. I just kinda held on for dear life and tried to be adamant as possible when he started acting like he was going to try to jump a low spot in the fence to get back to his girlfriend.
A small FOREVER later, my friend got hold of him from the saddle on her own horse, and I jumped the fuck off of him.
Then it got interesting.
She asked me to hold her horse, who is reliably gentle and nonchalant about most things, and SHE took Jazz. Took her ten minutes to get on him, kept trying to kick her. All the while she swears, he's not usually like this. She finally gets on him and rides him around, and he is bucking and kicking and snorting and then rears like a fucking giant stallion vertical, and she just barely stayed on the saddle that time, was a hair's breadth from tipping over backwards, shit you not, then came back to Earth and tried to kick the horse I was holding, or me, or both, who knows.

BAD PONY.

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